Getting married young nowadays seems like a crazy thing to do, keeping in mind the options we have. However, sometimes, I believe, this great variety of so called “options”, limits us. Relationships comes and go, intimate partners change, but we remain the same and expect different results from every new relationship that comes along. In addition, being alone doesn’t mean that you are free! That being said, I believe marriage provides us a larger platform for positive change and a stable foundation to grow!
Following from my last post where I shared my views on marriage, here are more reasons why marrying young is beneficial with some lessons I learned during the first year of being a wife to a wonderful husband.
6. Remember that marriage is like learning a new language: the earlier you start, the better you will get at it. Waiting for years and always skipping the opportunity will not help you get better. It will not make you more ready either. You either want to learn this language, or not. If you don’t believe family life is for you, no one is forcing you, I hope. The thing is, you can hardly “get ready” or “be prepared”, because you can never truly know what is it going to be like. You just need to have the faith and the conviction that you are doing the right thing with the right person. You need to have your mindset and your attitude ready, but you can’t be prepared for what will happen later.
Marriage is a life-forming event and if you enter it fully-formed it might harm it, because you will be reluctant to change your ways and learn to be less selfish and more giving and open to the other person.
7. If you are a believer, here is another benefit for you: marrying young protects your passions and helps you stay away from pre-marital sex. If you have decided you want to wait, obviously it is always easier to wait until 20-24, and not until your early 30s for instance. Marrying early allows you to experience all the intimacy with your spouse earlier in life and enjoy it at the most. In addition, you won’t be worried about STD’s and childbirth out of wedlock. Once I was told that the safest thing to wear during sex is your wedding ring and I believe it to be right.
8. Married people, and those who married younger in particular, learned how to cohabit with another person in the most successful way. According to professional cleaners one reason for that is because young people who marry and live together learn to do their fair share of the household chores and are used to it by the time children and other troubles arrive.
Don’t get me wrong, children are not trouble, but they could sometimes cause troubles and you need to be careful about becoming a parent and forgetting that you are still a spouse. On the other hand people who live alone or with their parents are either getting comfortable and used to messes, or are happy with someone doing the cooking and the laundry for them.
9. Getting married has some financial benefits as well, but I am only mentioning them for the sake of this list. You should never ever marry for those ever!
What research has to say?
- According to latest official data, provided by KnotYet, unmarried young people in their twenties are more prone to depression and binge drinking.
- As KnotYet reports young people no longer see marriage as the cornerstone that it is, but instead view it as a cap stone. That, however, leads them to believe, that life ends when they tie the knot and all the fun is over.
- A lot of research was carried, but luckily it couldn’t find any causal relationship, whatsoever. And that’s good, because we cannot blame marriage for all the break-ups and incidents of domestic violence or any other phenomenon out there. Similarly, we cannot really blame singledom for all the cases of depression and binge drinking, without considering other factors as well.
In conclusion, the only right thing to do, is to listen to your heart and follow your dreams. Just do the right thing, according to your beliefs and listen to your brain. Don’t wait simply because culture says: “Wait”, and similarly, don’t marry because I say it is good for you in the long run. Don’t do it for the white gown, or for the fancy reception. Marry, because you love and believe in your love.
Marry because you know you have found the one whom your soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4). Marry because you know you are strong enough to endure through the good, the bad and the ugly. Marry because you would rather die than be apart from the person you love the most. Marry not because you think you will be able to live with them, but because you can’t live without them. Marry if you want to get rid of your selfishness, rudeness, bitterness and pride… Marry because you are ready to become more humble, gentle, caring and willing to be the first to apologize. Marry because you want to find God, and faith, and purpose in life. Marry if you want to have a lifetime of memories shared with only one person and your children born from that marriage.
Just like the joy we experience when we work and craft with our hands, the same way we feel joyful when we mould, tender and build our marriage and see the instant results. And if those reasons are an answer to something you really needed to hear, if they respond to how you feel inside, please leave a comment or share your experience and add further to this list of reasons!