When you get married, especially as early as I have, it is quite normal to have certain expectations of what marriage will be like – blue skies and heart-shaped everything everywhere. Yes, well, it turned out life is a bit more complicated than that. There are times when you have a bad day for no apparent reason. Or at least you don’t always know what you are going through. In any case, everyone has these moments and it is our duty as wives to attend to our husbands when they are going through the same.
In the first part of this article, I gace some ideas on what women can do, including, support and listen, encourage and surprise. Here is a continuation of the list. These are all things, I found with time and a little bit more experience. So when your husband is feeling down, it is your duty to:
7. Be respectful and thank him. He is working just like you and as hard as you do, so that you can live together well, have food on your table and a roof over your heads. Appreciating his efforts and sacrifice is sometimes enough to help him forget his troubles and focus on the good. But do this with care! Don’t lie to him to make him feel good. He doesn’t need empty words. Philippians 2:3-4 says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
8. Don’t take charge of him. Just because he feels weak at certain point, doesn’t mean it’s time for you to be in charge of him. Honor him and respect him as the man of the household that he is, because otherwise, you will wonder where on earth did the manly man you married a couple of years ago disappear.
9. Touch, hold and kiss him. It is scientifically proven that all of the above mentioned activate a part of the brain and certain hormones that make you feel happy and secure. Everyone needs to feel loved and desired. Flirting with him will enhance his self-esteem and he will approach his problem with more confidence.
10. Don’t complain. The least men want is to come back from work to a nagging wife. If you’ve had a bad day too, I am sure you can hold it a little bit longer and see what he has to say. And I would give this advice to men as well. Always try to be the first to offer a listening ear, a crying shoulder and to apologize. To finish off, I would like to share with you something my mother used to tell me. It is a short story of two households.
“Two neighboring houses in a village differed from each other greatly- in the first there was constant fighting, screaming and shouting and in the other peace and quiet. One day the wife from the first house decided to go and ask the wife from the second house how they manage to keep the peace at home. When she approached the front door, the husband just came back home from work. As he was stepping inside, he accidentally knocked down the bucket his wife used to wipe the floor and spilled it all over. She ran to him and started apologizing: “I am sorry, darling, I should’ve finished by now, did you hurt your foot?” In the same time he also started apologizing: No, honey, I am sorry, I should’ve been more careful!”
Amazed the wife from the first household didn’t even have to speak to them – it was all clear to her now. When she came home, her husband asked her: “Well, did you find out why they never fight and we have so many arguments?” The woman replied: ” Yes, in our house everyone is right and in theirs everyone is sorry.”
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